Pride and Selfishness

Both common for all us. We determine how much we will have. We can't choose for someone else, no matter how much we love them, how much they will induldge in. It's sad to know that this gets the best of many people.
The unfortunate part is people won't recongnize it until its too late. Here and now matters only. Not the future. Or how it hurts themselves, or especially, the people that love them.
"I am happy now doing this. I will make it work for me now because I 'feel good'. I 'feel good' because this is what I have been wanting. I am thinking about ME now."
What good does this kind of thinking do for someone? Justifying what for whom? Are they ever thinking about the future? No. Never. The future and the past are too painful. Now is what feels good.
This kind of pattern is exactly what Satan expects us to fall in...and he wants us to fall. This is the pattern that ends marriage, trust, friendship, and families.
Jesus Christ never once thought of himself. His example is what we need to strive for. I feel so sad for all of us that get lost in the "ME" world.
I feel even more sad for those who watch someone else get lost in the "me" world.
We NEED to learn how to be unselfish, we NEED to learn how to communicate, and we NEED to learn how to figure out what the real problem is and WORK IT OUT. Not letting pride take over to cover up what we don't want to deal with.
I know if we follow Christ's example, to love one another, to think of others more than ourselves we will be happy and sucessful.

Time is FLYING

One thing I have never been able to learn well is keeping up with time. I think I did something yesterday and it was really a few weeks ago. This is one excuse I came up with for updating my blog. :)
Well - I finished training on Wednesday evening for Dispatch. I am done with Ghost week. I will be on my own. I am confident I can do it - but I am also scared. I just want to do well and not screw up. I just need some time to prove to myself that I can do it. My trainers were all really great and fortunately they will always be there if I need them. I really enjoy my job. I often times don't enjoy myself right before work because I get anxious. This is a problem I have always had. I want to do well but I doubt myself. So i'm trying to practice positive self talk, i'm listening to soothing music, and i'm trying to clean my house.
Speaking of cleaning my house, I have been looking for a bout a week to find where the source of this NASTY rotten potato smell is coming from. I cannot figure it out. I've bleached the garbage can, cleaned the fridge, fabreezed the carpet, mopped the floor, checked under the sink. Everything. What is weird is that the smell is the strongest by my kitchen table. I am starting to wonder if it is coming thru one of the vents near my table...because I am stumped!!!
In other news about time flying, did you know it is almost halloweeen? Which means it is almost November? Which means it is almost December? Which means it is ALMOST CHRISTMAS! :) yay yay yay!!!!
Cody has been working hard on the Air Force base! Its been so long since i've written on here i'm not sure what i've posted.....but man we have been blessed by Cody getting this job. As I do remember complaining about before....Cody got into the PAQ program. And by some miracle and fluke we did get the bonus. Cody was able to buy a car and we were able to pay off some bills that had been bothering us. With my job and his job together we've been able live comfortably....as in we can pay our bills. And that feels good. We have our own phones. We have our own cars. We have a nice apartment. It has felt so so so so good. Words cannot describe it. We have felt so very very very blessed and are very humbled. Heavenly Father has been there for us, as he always will be.

Update :)

This week was a good week!
First off - Cody FINALLY got the offer to do PAQ. He will be starting July 31st and they will be paying for his masters, he will still earn his salary, and they will repay the student loans we took out this last year for school!

Second - They are starting the background check on me Monday for the Dispatch Position in Layton. I am STOKED!!! :) I am really looking forward to everything.

Third - We went to Youth Conference with the Young Women and Young men. I Just have to say, I LOVE the kids in our ward. They really are fantastic. I can understand what my YW leaders meant when they said they loved us. :)

And - today is fathers day. :) I Love my dad a ton. He has been fantastic and extremely supportive in everything i've done. It is great to know I have such a great role model in my life. :) I am so happy that I have such a great dad. And i'm happy Cody has a great dad as well! :)
Happy Fathers day!!!!!!!!

I haven't checked my blog in weeks

Nor have I written in here :) Here is a little update on our life.
Cody's job is going really well. He is doing a great job and being recognized for his hard work. Unfortunately we STILL have not heard about PAQ :( (we are really really frustrated by this) SO please pray the government will make up their mind so we can MOVE ON! :) As for my i've been applying to jobs....and haven't gotten any calls back so far. I am a little disappointed. But Since none of the jobs that I could walk to are hiring i've been forced to find jobs that are farther away, but fortunately pay better. Cody made a good point yesterday, if I spend 40 hours a week doing work, I should find something that I will get paid well for. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a few. One in particular actually. When I was in high school I decided I wanted to do some kind of law enforcement related career. Well, after being a little smarter and realizing I wouldn't make a good police officer probably, I wanted to do emergency dispatching. I went and sat in at the Walla Walla police department where my dad works and just watched several times. I was pretty confident that it would be a good job. Then I went to school at BYUI and started doing dispatch there. I had a tiny bit of training, but not enough to feel confident in my work and ability to keep the officers safe and other people who depend on me safe. SO after freaking myself out and worrying about that I gave up on the dispatch. Since I haven't had any luck finding something in my field with my degree, that I could do without my car, I had to look elsewhere. And to my luck Layton city is hiring dispatchers!!!!!!!!!!!! I am confident that if I am trained further and have more experience and practice that I would make a good dispatcher. SO please cross your fingers that I get that one....or at least get an interview. I think the most frustrating part is not getting an interview, or a call, or any kind of acknowledgment. I know there are hundreds of people applying for jobs....but I just want someone to call me! Other places I have applied are Petco, Ross as loss prevention, a construction company as a secretary, at a furniture store, at a school district, at a youth help center, as a records keeper, and it goes on. But even though i'm not working, it doesn't mean I'm not happy. :) I am enjoying my time off. I can have friends! I can go to church!! I can sleep at night. I can do things I enjoy like gardening. I can clean and I can cook :) that has been really fun. It hasn't been so bad, but all the extra money I could be making would be very nice. Soo....life is still kind of in "Ok when are we moving on?" mode :) Cody's graduation went great. I don't have any pictures right now but when I get some I will post them :) Cody graduated in the top 5%! But that was to be expected, he worked his butt off. He almost had a 4.0 in computer engineering. Who does that?! MY HUSBAND! :) Anyway, thats it for now :)

Study on Relationships Semi-conclusion/Hedgehogs/Friends

This blog post is a result of not being able to sleep. Beware! HAHA

Ok so a few weeks ago I asked for you to share your dating experience with your husbands. I had a theory developing in my mind that went something like this: In todays society men don't ask women on dates as much as expected. And my theory has been proven wrong. Most everyone stated that the relationship was initiated by their spouse or soon after meeting for the first time their husbands asked them out after. I just wonder - if that is the case than why are so many of my friends having such a hard time finding nice and good guys?? What do you think?


And - hedgehogs. Many of you know via facebook that I have a new friend in my home. His name is Hoggle. He is my hedgehog.



I got Hoggle right before Valentines day :) Some of you might not know that I plan on making a hobby of him. There is a pretty good demand for baby hedgehogs, so I plan on breeding him. I am going to be getting my female hedgehog here in May. Cody has already named her pearl :) Now, I know it sounds really weird to breed hedgehogs.....but....i'm going to break even or even make money on the deal :) Ok well I probably wont make money because there is now way I am going to charge as much as other people are for their baby hedgehogs ($250 + )

Anyway - the main reason why i'm writing about my hedghogs is because I've recently found this website called "hedgehog central". I like to go on it to read about other peoples experiences with behavior, health, food, breeding, and what not. Most of this information is uploaded on the discussion forum. Just recently, after not having any more questions for the time being, i've just been reading the new posts. The unfortunate and annoying thing I have noticed is there are soooo many drama queens on this web page! Everything is in crisis always. It makes me laugh because people fall for it. I'm thinking the drama makers are teenagers....so that kind of figures. Oh well. It just made me laugh.

In other hobbies! I am getting ready to start gardening :) I've planted the seeds that needed some time to prepare before going outside. I have a variety of different flowers that will look great on my table and last. I am excited go dig in the dirt!!!

And in final news... I have made a new friend! Well a couple of new friends! The really nice thing about being in a regular (non student) ward has been there are fewer of us younger people and it isn't quite so overwhelming to get to know everyone. Our ward itself is pretty small and going to relief society is nice because you recognize many many more people...because there are few. It has been nice not having a job just to have a friend again. While I was working PSR I was so stressed and frustrated and had such a really retarded schedule that I had a hard time making/hanging out with friends. When we moved here and first went to the ward I was scared I wouldn't get to know anyone because it is an established ward. I've gotten to know Kelly pretty well, but she is moving soon :( like...in a week or two. And Jeanette. I've hung out with Jeanette more than I have hung out with anyone for a very long time. The last time I hung out with someone so much was Mary! And she moved to Boise!!! (tisk tisk!!!!!! :) ) Anyway, I am really really grateful to be able to hang out with people my age that I could be myself with for a long time. When I was working I felt like the only people I knew and associated with were my clients. You can't have a friendship there, it is unprofessional and it is very one sided. You serve your client and help them. I forgot how to talk and feel comfortable around people and not try to PSR them to death! I've just felt really really happy about it! :) It is so nice to have a friend. And it's nice not having that stress and drama on my shoulders from that job. I do feel guilty about not having a job yet....but I think I really needed this. :)

Study on Relationships

Female Facebook Friends: I am doing a kind of personal study to see if a theory of mine is supported by your experiences with the man in your life. If you are willing I would like you to share with me in detail how you met your significant other. Where, when, why, how. Who initiated what? How did it start? How long did it last? I don't care if your married, divorced, single. If you don't want to share the whole story please answer these 3 questions: 1. Who asked who out first 2. Who initiated the 2nd & 3rd date? 3. How long did you date before choosing to be in a relationship. You can comment on this. Thanks Ladies! - Also, if you have friends that you know would like to share their experience please ask them to comment/ read this. Thanks!!
-Nikki
P.S. Even if we haven't talked for 15 years and you'd like to share i'd really appreciate it :)

What do these pictures say about us?

Cody and I had a date night tonight. We went to a hobby store...and bought these. We were both hoping people assumed we were getting a little kid a birthday gift.....hahahahha

My non adventure at home

Well - today many people would consider me spoiled. Which I do consider myself spoiled. I don't have a job, i'm not expected to get a job, I don't have any kids, I have a dishwasher, and my only responsibility is to clean. After I clean, what do I do? I research for jobs, apply for jobs, watch TV, walk around a bit, and play on the computer. Do I have anything else to do? Not really. I have been doing Yoga and Pilates which is fun, but only lasts an hour to and hour and a half. I cook, but that doesn't last too long. So what do I do? I go get the mail. Thats my adventure outside. :p
With all this time on my hands and not too much to do I do get to enjoy doing whatever I want, even if it is nothing. The sad part is...the past few days when I am not wanting to do anything, just sit in silence or maybe read.....the neighbors start fighting....or someone is yelling. I can't figure out who it is but it isn't enjoyable and it makes me worried. I hope that these fits of theirs will pass!
I am really looking forward to spring time and for the weather to warm up.
In other spoiled rotten news - my hedgehog gets to come home this Friday :) I am excited for some company.
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As a note, Cody's job is going alright. He sure puts a lot of pressure on himself and critiques himself hard. He does much better than he gives himself credit for. He isn't sure what to think of it yet and is still trying to get the hang of it all. He doesn't have a trainer so really he was just thrown in. I think thats what worries him most, he's not sure what is expected of him. I am proud of him though for keeping up the good work. :)

Families are Forever

Today Cody and I found out that Officer Alain Budge of the BYUI University Security department passed away in a motorcycle accident Friday :(
I didn't know him real well but he and I had a few good conversations when I worked dispatch and it was slow. He also was a major help and source to Cody when he was doing his senior project with the Police Training videos.
What I liked about Bro. Budge is he was straight forward, honest, and he was strong in his beliefs. He would share his testimony randomly sometimes, not in a formal way, but in our conversations about family, the prophet, and keeping faith when things were difficult. He was a really good example.
It is nice to know that he and his family get to be together forever, even though they'll be separated for a little while.

the rest

The new apartment!

Our new ward!

Since mid-November going to church has been tough because of traveling and moving and being out of town. Today we finally got to go to our ward here in Utah! I love it! I have been wanting to be in a regular family ward for a long time and now we have it. We had an awesome sacrament program given by the special needs mutual group! It was really nice :) We went to Sunday school and to Relief Society and Priesthood and met a few new people. It is a nice stable and consistent ward :) We're pretty excited about it! :) yay yay yay!

Hawaii Journal :)

Well I have had this written for a while and I was waiting to put pictures up with it but I would have to scan a bunch, so I'll just edit them in later so I can get this part done :)

***Please note - this blog is like my journal....so a lot of it is just stuff for my benefit :) I'll enjoy reading this much more than you will I am sure! hahahha***
This is what we did in Hawaii!! -

Day 1: Our flight in - Sunday
Cody finished up his finals and projects 3 days early so we had the chance to go to Boise a few days before our flight. Katie and Sha showed up on Friday. This is about the same time that Katie had picked up some sickness before she came up and was feeling terrible. Saturday morning Katie and Cody’s mom, Shelley, went to the doctor to see what was wrong with Katie. The doctor tested Katie for Mono, which she tested positive for within 5 minutes of putting it in. When they got home and advised us that Katie was highly contagious I busted out my hand sanitizer and began avoiding any form of contact with Katie. We woke up at 4:10 a.m. to finish packing make sure we had everything we needed and head to the Boise airport. Cody’s family friends came and picked us up and the 6 of us piled in a suburban. It was snowing pretty heavily and we were worried that our flight would be delayed. Luckily, our flight was only delayed by 40 minutes and we were able to fly up to Seattle. The plane that we flew in was old, loud, and shook the entire way. I was terrified of it and it made me feel sick the entire hour and however much longer it took to get up there. When we finally landed in Seattle we walked in found a bathroom and then immediately started our flight to Honolulu, HI. That flight felt like it was forever. It was almost 6 hours long. Much to long for our taste. Began our landing in Honolulu and there was something wrong! It was really bumpy, dark, and WET. We got off the plane and by the time we walked to the terminal we were soaked! We made it to our car rental and while waiting for Cody’s Dad and Grandmpa to figure out arrangements, Cody’s Grandmother and I kept moving our luggage as to avoid the huge puddles forming everywhere - and rising. We rented a pretty nice Buick with a leather interior. After about 10 minutes of pure confusion in our Condo parking lot we found our space and finally went up to our rooms. They were pretty nice. We had a kitchen, washer and dryer, and a balcony. Our bed was the kind that folds up into the wall which was pretty cool. We were starving so we got off and locked for the first local Hawaiin cuisine we could find. I think it was called the Big Kahuna. It was pretty good stuff and only a block away from where we were at.I of course ate my favorite, a Kaula pig sandwich with BBQ sauce on the side. We got home and then crashed. It was still pouring.

Day 2: Monday - Siblings
We decided to split up and go on an adventure. It as still raining off and on but it was very warm. Cody, Katie, Sha, and I walked down to Waikiki beach to check out the surf and so Sha and Katie could see the beach for the first time. We stepped into the water and it was really cold at first. We found a crab in some sand bags and while I was bending over looking at him I got blasted up my side with ocean water. It was pretty funny. We walked up the beach a while and went to an over look point. Some of the locals and braver boogie boarders were jumping of this place into the swelling ocean! We talked with a nice local man who told us a bit about his life and his apartment. He gave us directions to eat at a local restaurant called Rainbow and where a good Shave Ice shack was. We first walked farther to get Shave Ice but couldnt find it. We back tracked and in that time the rain started again! It didn’t matter anymore that I was half soaked by ocean, because by then we were dripping wet before we got into the Rainbow shelter. Cody ordered a teriyaki burger which was really cheap and I got the Lunch plate that came with fish and BBQ pork, rice, and macaroni salad. It was really really good! The presentation wasn’t amazing, but that was ok. We walked home passing a library for the blind and disabled which we thought was pretty cool.

Day 3: Tuesday - Polynesian cultural Center
Did I mention we were driving 2 different cars? We also had 2 GPS’s. The problem is nobody bothered to sync them. So, pretty much everywhere we went we had one car going on direction and the other going someway else. This is how we traveled to the cultural center. Cody’s dad, sisters, and Grandmother went along the coast of the island. We drove through the center and then went around back to the coast. We beat them by about 5 minutes. On the way up we stopped at a shack on the side of the road selling fresh bananas, pineapple, passion fruit, little feather men who ward off evil spirits, and coconut. We bought the little warding of spirits man, I finally got to eat my first fresh off the tree banana, ate some coconut, tried some passion fruit (which I did not like one bit) and had some fresh Hawaii pineapple. It was great!
At the cultural center we were given a tour around by a guy named Greg who had too long of a last name to remember. We went to some shows that we had seen 3 years ago, but this time we got to go to the Ahi’ Luau ! The luau was fun, but the food was more fun. Cody’s sisters tried poi (this purple starchy paste stuff) for the first time and poke (combination of raw fish with soy and stuff). I ate a ton of Kaula pig and they had the sweet vinegar cucumbers that I have been looking for for years! We had sweet taro rolls which were good (and purple). Katie didn’t like them because she tried the Poi Paste and hated it.
Cody and I bought some decorations for our bathroom in the new place  It is going to be Hawaiian theme. I will put up pictures when we have it all finished.
By the end of the evening we were all really pooped. We got home at 10 and I think I fell asleep maybe 10 minutes later.

Day 3: Wednesday - shopping
Shelley heard about a big local farmers market type thing going on at the Aloha stadium. (Did you know Aloha means love?) Shelley, Katie, Sha, and myself went there to look at the local vendors. We soon found out that these vendors were not “local” per say, but mostly from China. We bought some fun things there for cheap price, had Chinese ladies get mad at us because we wouldn’t buy their product, and walked around in our first really sunny day of Hawaii.


Day 4: Hanuma Bay - Thursday
We woke up at 7:30, met at Cody’s family’s place by 8:30 and were at the Bay by 9. It was packed. We were blessed with yet another sunny day in Oahu. We waited in line for probably 45 muntes before we got tickets to go into the bay and then we had to watch a 15 minute video. We walked to the far side of the bay at first because there was no one over there. We soon found out it was because that side was covered in sharp coral in very shallow water. We moved closer to the huge cround and began our snorkeling adventure. We saw a big school of silver fish, really big blue fish, a pink and sea green fish, sea annenomoes, crabs and coral, an angel fish, a Humuhumunukunukuapua'a (the Hawaii state fish) and some big redish fish that crushed coral with its mouth like nothing. I got to use my underwater camera. It was really nice this time. The current wasn’t super strong and we were able to swim out farther and easier over coral to see more fish. I loved it there.
After the bay we went to hunt for food. We went back to the first cheap restaurant that Cody and I went to on our honeymoon. We’ve nick named it “apostasy”. It wasn’t a bad place mind you, but the bible versus written on the walls were kind of funny. Some were in Hawaiian slang which made us laugh. After some more Kaula pig and a really good chocolate milk shake, we went to another beach with bigger waves. Cody, Katie, Sha and Cody’s dad (Kelly), all played in the waves. It started to get cold and late so we went home.

Day 5: Pearl Harbor - Friday
Cody and I never got to go to Pearl Harbor when we were in Oahu for our honeymoon. Admission was free and so was the admission to see the Arizona Memorial! Grandpa Killpack showed us some interesting things along the way to a submarine we go t to go inside of. Grandpa Killpack served in the Navy and worked in subs for a lot of his career. Admission to get into the sub was $10 a person. We got a photo right before entering which was later printed to be on the front page of a replica of the news paper on the Dec. 7th Pearl Harbor attack. Grandpa gave us a thorough tour of the submarine. I don’t know how 60 to 70 men could possibly live in one of those things. Being inside for maybe 20 minutes made me feel very claustrophobic because it was so stuffy and there were maybe 20 people touring at the same time. To get out of the thing was SO nice. After the sub tour we went to a short presentation about what happened when the Japanese attacked and why they attacked. We learned about the attack and what survived and what didn’t. After the movie we all loaded onto a small boat (very quietly, people were pretty reverent after that movie) and headed over to the Arizona Memorial. You could see the top of the highest parts of the ships and buoy marked the ship from end to end. Even though the ship has been under water since the 1960’s there was still oil seeping from it.
After we were finished looking around Pearl Harbor we left to Costco. I bought myself a Christmas crab and Cody’s mom and Grandparents bought what would be for Christmas dinner.
Cody and I ate at a restaurant just a block away from our Condo. It was more of a Tai restaurant, which was ok. Cody ordered some pork chops and I ordered Sweet Pineapple Shrimp Curry. It was pretty good for curry food, which I haven’t had very often.

Day 6: Christmas - Saturday
Christmas day! This Christmas was definitely different. No Christmas trees. No presents. No Christmas lights. We did have a Christmas candy. I called my family to wish them a merry Christmas. We all got ready and packed up to go to the beach where we saw some pretty good sized waves to swim in. Cody, his sisters, and his dad played in the waves which were big enough to crash on someone making them fall flat in their face. I think this was the day they convinced me to go into the water. I went in, it was up to my neck, which is very brave for me by the way. I was out for maybe 5 minutes. Cody helped me time and lift over the waves. I got pummeled by one and flipped over somehow, so I was ready to quit. After getting to the beach (not gracefully) I called it a day. Cody insisted on swimming out further, which made me really nervous, and then finally the wind came and made us cold on the beach. The sun was covered by clouds again. We all came home. The parents made dinner. I soaked in the hot tub. It was pretty fun.

Day 7: Sunday - hiked the Diamond head
We woke up pretty late if I remember right? We found out grandpa got sick with what we thought was food poisoning.
It was fairly cool outside, mostly over cast. We decided today would be a good day to hike the Diamond head! I am not sure what I was expecting, but I wasn’t expecting a difficult hike. It wasn’t SUPER difficult, like pro style, but it was hard. My calves cramped up half way up pretty bad and I had to take a break. I almost died when I saw the stairs going straight up. I should have taken a picture of those suckers. When we got to the top it was nice. There were a lot of people, which is annoying, but to say we went up it is pretty cool. The way down was much easier than the way up, as always.
Day 8: Monday - ate at Tiki’s went for drive to north shore and had shrimp at Giovannies Shrimp Shack
We woke up and left to go to the north shore. I was sick this day. I had a really bad head ache and my throat was all swollen. I really thought I was getting mono. After cursing Katie because she got me sick, we left on our way (Katie actually didn’t get me sick…she was innocent!!). We drove through a major rainstorm, we categorized it as a monsoon. The rain was so thick you couldn’t see the road at some points and we were worried about hydroplaning. We made it to the Dole Pineapple plantation and caught a break from the rain. We saw the world’s largest maze and all kinds of different pineapples. We went on the train ride where I saw baby bananas, mangos, star fruit, sugar cane, coco plant, and of course, a ton of pineapple plants (without pineapples sadly). We learned that it takes 20 months for a pineapple to be ready to harvest. We tried pineapple ice cream, not sorbet. It was really creamy! After that we hunted for Mom’s dream, garlic shrimp at the Giovanni’s shrimp shack. We passed a bunch of shrimp farms and mom was scared we would never find it! Finally we got there. Cody and I shared lemon butter shrimp and a garlic hot dog, and mom finally got her garlic shrimp! They served roasted garlic over top of white rice. It was really good.
It started raining again so we all decided to go back home. Cody and I went and ate at the Tiki Grill finally. Cody ordered some really good parmesan crusted chicken breast that came with noodles and a creamy sun dried tomato sauce. I had my last authentic Hawaiian food. I finally tried a Lau Lau. Lau lau is pork or fish wrapped up in a Taro leaf. I do not like the way the Taro leaf smells at all. I am glad I learned that. It had my favorite, kaula pig. It also had rice with a pepper and parsley topping. On the side was a salmon poke with tomato and onion. There was a tuna poke I think with soy sauce, garlic, and onion. Also there was a sweet mashed taro which is kind like mashed potato and it is purple. To put on top of it was a type of coconut pudding. It was really good! It was fun to eat there, they gave us a free post card. We also got a banana chocolate milk shake called Funky Monkey. It came in a tiki cup and we got to keep it! Over all, a good fun dinner!

Last day: Flight home
We woke up early, packed up, and left for the air port. The line to get through security were really long. We hung out for a while and finally got on our flight home. The flight seemed soo much shorter the way back than it did on the way there. We got into Seattle and hung out there for a while. We ate Ivars clam chowder. My sickness got a little worse, but it was clear I did not have mono. I was sneezing and having to blow my nose a lot which was sick. I got a massage at the air port. It was amazing. We got home at like 11:30 at night Boise time.

I was happy to come home. I was ready to come home and I am really glad we were able to go to Hawaii again  I think I am done with the Island of Oahu. I am hoping that someday we will go to Maui or the Big Island. Over all it was really awesome trip!