Penelope Jade Killpack 8/12/12 8:44 a.m.

Preface - this was written as fast as I could before Pennie woke up. Ignore the errors. Also for whatever reason the formatting I chose wont let me break up anything so it is easier to read. WOW! Penelope IS HERE!!! :) :) Penelope Jade Killpack 8/12/12 6 lbs 10 oz born at 8:44 a.m. at Mckay Dee Hospital Ogden, Utah. It all started the Thursday before she was born. I guess I did nest, a tiny bit. I had the urge to clean the bathroom really well, tub, toilet, pretty much all I could. I couldn't do as much as I wanted because I was in a lot of pain in my back. I had my appointment in the afternoon to be checked for being 36 weeks and 5 days along. Dr. Seale (wonderful guy) came in and asked if I had been having any contractions. I said nothing painful, and he said alright we don't need to check you then. I was fine with that. They swabbed me for the Group B strep test and I was really really nervous. Then he told me that he was going to be off call this Saturday and Sunday night...but he didn't think I would go into labor then. Neither did I! Ok skip ahead - on Saturday I thought I could have lost my mucus plug. It wasn't bloody, just a thick heavy white blob.....but I thought naw...it just has to do with all the gross things that happen with my body anyway haha. We went to bed at 11 p.m. Saturday night. I woke up at 255 a.m. to go potty, a tradition I had to keep every 2 hours. I was a zombie, of course, did my duty, stood up to go wash my hands and go to bed, and then suddenly there was a gush. And then I had a really really strong pain in my stomach. It was my first contraction. I got up again I was still leaking. I was feeling scared, I put on a pad and went to wake up Cody. I was really nervous, my teeth were chattering, I just told Cody I thought my water broke, and he said are you sure? And I said yeah I am pretty sure, and he got up and was like ok...what do we do? I said I didn't know, but I wanted a blessling. Cody gave me a blessing, I don't remember a word he said......at all. Not a clue. After that I called the doctors office and the recording said "if you feel like you are in labor or your water has broken go to the emergency room". I went back to the bathroom to check the pad, which was full of fluid and sure enough I learned what bloody show was. I said ok Cody we have to go now! I had another contraction, but nothing nearly as bad, it felt like a little stronger braxton hick. Cody and I were running around grabbing our stuff getting bags, phone chargers, the camcorder, Cody almost grabbed the lap top but I said no we gotta go right now! We went down to the car, I put the rubber foot mat on the seat so I wouldn't flood it, and we started driving. I was pretty worried and so were were talking, my teeth were still chattering and I was really nervous. I was talking about worse case scenarios, where my will was even though it wasn't official, and what to do if I have a c-section or if something goes wrong. I told Cody I wanted him to be with the baby at all times. I called my mom and dad and told them were were on our way, and they were pretty excited, they were up in Canada on their motor cycle trip, I felt bad calling them --- only kind of. We were excited. We drove up to the emergency room and I had another very light contraction. I walked in the nurse said "labor and delivery?" I said yes, she pulled out a note pad and said "has your water broken? have you been having contractions?" I said yes - then they plopped me in a wheel chair and took us to the elevator. I hadn't even taken the tag off the diaper bag, but fortunately it was fully packed. :) We went up, I was feeling super excited now and the nurse was talking nicely. We went to the front desk to check in of labor and delivery and they asked which doctor I had. I said "Dr. Seale, but he said he was going to be unavailable tonight." And then they said "acutally he just barely called and said he IS available now". I was so happy and relieved that I cried. :)

Then they took me to the monitoring room, they told me to pee in a cup and put the gown on. It took me forever to figure out the gown. They had me sit on the bed and I was still really excited and happy. We were sitting there and Cody recognized a voice of a guy that he worked with. He wanted to talk with them but I had to keep reminding him that the mans wife was in labor, and probably wouldn't appreciate it --- I also did not want him to leave. We waited and waited, they took my blood pressure, my temperature, hooked me up to the contractions monitor, and put Pennie's heart beat up and we could watch it go. After about 15 minutes of waiting they checked me and said I was at a 4 and I was fully effaced. I was really suprised! And then, my contractions started....and they were hurting. I was able to breath through them and I told Cody Ok if they stay like this I can probably make it, but then they started getting stronger and stronger. The nurse had to help the other lady get ready because she needed a C-section...then she needed to give me an IV because my group B strep lab hadn't come back...and then she said ok the natural birthing room is available, but you won't be able to labor in the tub because you have a temperature. At this point I wasn't sure if I was going to make it naturally, because the contractions were hurting very badly. She said ok the anesthesiologist was available only right now, but would NOT be for an hour, so I either had to get the epidural right then, or wait an hour. Cody was strong with me and encouraged me to wait because I wanted to go natural. They took me to the room, where I met our nurse Carrie. What an awesome woman. At this point my contractions felt close together, I'm not sure how close they actually were, I would say 2 minutes? And very painful, I doubled over when I got out of the chair and was crying, and then the yelling began. I really tried to breathe through them...but it was really really REALLY hard to do. They asked I if I wanted the birthing ball I said yes...we had brought one but we would have had to inflate it.....but they had one ready for me. I remember at that moment I said "I am feeling really sick" she had Cody go grab a blue plastic bag for me because I felt sick and then she also handed him the ball...........I didn't have time to say cody give me the bag...and his back was turned trying to get the ball ready for me...and I went to grab for him and I puked all over his arm and the floor....I threw up twice. And then I couldnt' breathe after! I can't tell if i was having a panic attack or I was choking......but man it was terrible. That was my first real puke since my 9th birthday! Oh Cody, he did so well and he did not throw up even though that was totally nasty. He got very scared when I was choking......but then I got over it..and had yet another contraction. The nurse had me sit down and immediately started pushing on my back and hips while I worked through more. She then said "ok....you're having a lot and you're in a lot of pain I think we need to check you." I got through that contraction with a lot of yelling and got on the bed grudgingly...and she checked me and said "holy cow you're flying, you're at an 8" this was probably 15 minutes being in the room?? At this point I was screaming and crying with every single contraction, I could not breathe through them like the class said I should, I really tried, but it was toooooo much!!!!!!! She checked me like maybe 10 minutes later and she said "ok you're ready, if you're ready to push than you can push or you can try to do what you're doing" because I was trying to breathe Pennie down. I was laying on my side at this point and I could feel her moving down.........and then I was trying to breathe hurt out but she wasn't moving. Carrie checked me and coudld feel Pennie's head. After trying this for maybe 10 contractions..Carrie said ok maybe you need to help her a tiny bit......and I said yes I want to push. So I started pushing with the contractions......and screamed and pushed and cried and shook and tried to relax between them....she could feel Pennie's head trying to come down but it got sucked back up all the time and she wouldn't move past my pubic bone. So...this is really gross but I think it is hilarious looking back. I kept saying throughout the entire labor that I felt like I needed to go number 2. The nurse said it was ok it was just baby pushing on my intestines. Well I was pushing really hard and shaking and I yelled "I THINK I JUST WENT NUMBER 2!" and the nurse just said "no you didn't you're fine!" I learned later from Cody that yes I had... HAHAHAHAHA! She was so nice. Cody was really trying to help. He was really white....she had him hold my leg and she sat and let me use her body to push on with my other leg on her. After really trying and laboring I kept asking if there was anything we could do to stop the pain...after the 4th time of asking this she said "you mean you want an epdirual? I really think you can do this....you're so close I know you want to do it naturally" and I said that I was super tired and it hurt really bad...I was just whimpering at this point constantly between contractions and I could not relax at all I was shaking bad...and she said "lets try for 2 more contractions and push as hard as you can and if nothing changes we're going to have Dr. Seale Check you" and I agreed. Well those two went by and I screamed probably the loudest I had out of the whole time, which was really loud anyway. Yes...I was the lady that woke up the entire hospital. She had Dr. Seale come in and I had another contraction, Cody told me I needed to breathe through it instead of pushing ....and so I really really tried...I screamed mostly. He came in and checked and had me push during contractions and checked. He said "it is totally up to you, I know you want to go natural...you might be able to do it...but you need to decide." So i looked at Cody and said ok...and Dr. Seale left. As soon as he left I had another contraction and yelled " I WANT AN EPIDURAL! " The anesthesiologist was standing outside my door and he came in and got stuff ready immediately. They had me sit up and bend forward. I had another contraction, they allowed me to wait to finish that one. The epidural guy was so fast, I felt the shots go into my back but it did not hurt at all....and then I felt pressure which I assume was the epidrual-- I told cody NOT to look at the needle....he was annoyed I said this. The guy was indian or something and I was like "I have scoliosis" and he said "don't worry" and then said "all done" at that point I was having another contraction and sitting up through it. They had me lay down and then peace came........it was incredible. I started shivering really badly.....and I was able to come to my senses again. I apologized for screaming so loud, and for puking on them, and for being really just scary. She had me rest for like 10 minutes and not push through any contractions I was having, i could tell I was having one because I could feel some pressure at the top of my belly. Cody was still super white and very quiet. I thought he was upset that I gave up, but he later told me he just wanted to be sick and was really scared. I started pushing again with the contractions, it was really weird because it was hard to tell I was actually pushing, but I tried my best and figured I was. The nurse was checking me and said yeah i can feel her but she is still there not moving down all the way. After pushing for quite a while she said "ok - I'm not sure why this baby isn't out, she should have been out a really long time ago, I'm going to get Dr. Seale." He came in and said "I can't really tell what position she is in, but I can tell her head is starting to swell, and I think she is stuck. I recommend we use a vacuum to help her out......because I don't think she is going to come out with her head swelling now." I looked at Cody and said "what do you think?" and he said "i duno just do whatever" he was still super white. And I asked "do you think there is no way?" and he said "yeah, she isn't moving." And so I said "ok" so he got the equipment ready and they called in a bunch of nurses for impending delivery. Dr. Seale then said "if we can't get her out this way we will have to do a c-section". I didn't even feel scared though. I was just determined. I remember looking over to the left through out much of the labor and seeing the little lamp bed that she might be going into. Dr. Seale said "i'm recommending an epiziotomy" and I agreed and he did it. then Dr. Seale put the vacuum up and on her little head up inside me - all I felt was pressure - looking back I am SO SO SO SO grateful I got an epidural........because I'm pretty sure at one point there were to whole hands inside of me and all I felt was pressure. And on top of the epiziotmy I tore, so again, very grateful for the epidural. Dr. Seale told me to push and I pushed 3 times and I could hear the suction of the little vaccum....and then I heard the her heart beat slow...I said "is that her heart?" and doc said "yes, we need to get her out now." Again, I didn't feel scared, but more determined than ever. And so then I pushed as hard as I could 3 more times and I felt the pressure of her leave and watch them bring her up to me and lay her on me. I was kind of in shock! She was purple and slimey and she started to cry! I was so excited! And then she stopped for a second and I said "Pennie come on you can do it!" the doc cut the cord and she cried again and I touched her and I think I said "she is so warm!" and she was so slimy but it was awesome!!!

Cody was just in complete shock at this point i think. He wasn't smiling but seemed really wide eyed, I really think he was in shock. He started filming her. I kept her there for a little bit, I don't know how long it was. They started drying her off and she was still crying. I was just in shock too. Then they asked if they could weigh her and stuff, and Dr. seale was sewing me up, so I said yes. They brought her back and we did skin to skin, she is so pretty. She tried to nurse immediately. :) Good girl. We stayed in there for a while, and Cody was still really in shock. Nothing went as planned. I was going to have a normal long labor where we were going to have to wait for me to dialate we were going to listen to the CD maybe watch a movie sit on the birthing ball. I wasn't going to scream or cry I wasn't going to throw up and I wasn't going to poop. I wasn't going to get an epdirual an epizotomy and she wasn't going to be vacummed out. :)I am grateful I didn't have a c-section. And I am grateful she came out healthy, and beautiful. We love little Pennie Pie!! :) :)

The lady on the left in the green is nurse Carrie. She was awesome :)

Cody after 3 days of NO SLEEP! :)